I haven't been training much but I have been beating myself up about it constantly.
Any one that has put their life on hold to train for a sporting competition understands that sacrifices need to be made to achieve set goals. Especially when competing in combat sports, where failure can equal serious injury or at the very least a hit to the ego.
When I have a fight that I am training seriously for, I don't go out so see friends and family, days are a cycle of training hard and eating clean,early mornings and late nights, which can often isolate friends and family that don't share the same values.
Lately I find myself in a position where I just don't have the strength to make so many sacrifices and am unable to make the ruthless commitment to training that is required to compete. Its got to the stage where trying to please everyone and give training, work and family and friends my all has just become impossible and at the minute the latter need to take priority.
This has left me feeling depressed and generally not myself, as training has become a part of me and without it I feel a bit lost. I am someone that always puts in 100% to everything I do and the anxiety of not performing to my best means that for once I need to ask coaches and training partners to be understanding and supportive while I focus my energy else where. Something I have grown accustomed to asking of friends and family and even work while I am training for a competition or fight.
For the next month my family, friends and my job need my time and focus. I'm not just skiving off training because I can't be bothered or I've got a new boyfriend, everything I do in life is to reach a goal or objective and sometimes these won't be related to training but to other parts of my life.
That being said I feel a bit of a weight lifted as I can take some time to just enjoy training again, and that can hopefully start by going to Women's BJJ open mat this Sunday.